Recently, I was watching my son's hockey practice. After approximately 40 minutes of him lollygagging through different drills and warm-ups, he plonked himself down on the ice saying he needed a break.
Now if he'd been busting his butt and giving it his all for those 40 minutes, I would have been ok with the rest. The truth is he wasn't even breathing hard. I've promised myself that I will never turn into one of “those" hockey parents that we hear about, but it was very difficult for me to remain silent when we spoke on our way home.
Me - "So what happened near the end of the practice? Why were you laying on the ice?"
Him - "oh, I just needed a break…we were skating too much"
Me - "well, isn't that the point, you skate, you pass and you shoot?”
Him - "naw, I just want to pass and shoot and not skate"
Me - "dude, do you really like playing ice hockey, do you want to try something else?"
Him - "I don't EVER want to quit! It's the most fun that I have all week!"
What can I say to that? There really is no (sane) reply from me that will make any sense to him.
Later on it dawns on me that my boy’s main purpose for playing hockey is to just have fun, on his terms. His primary reason for being there isn't for exercise or competition, not for the love of the game or the camaraderie. He is just there to straight up have fun.
That is his Big Y
He is willing to get out of bed on weekends at ungodly hours. Willing to lug his bag around and put on equipment in freezing cold rooms. He is willing to play a sport that he may or may not love, all just to fulfill his "Big Y". Now, I suppose that we all should be envious of Daniel because he has figured out one of his life's motivations (one of his Big Y's) and it turns out that it's "fun". Some people have competition or acceptance or acclamation as their primary motivators while others have darker more destructive ones.
When I got super serious about sales, I had to figure out what my "Big Y was." I knew down deep that I would never reach any meaningful level of achievement until I figured out what my primary motivation was.
Uncovering your "Big Y" opens all kinds of doors both literally and figuratively. It’s the push in your back when you need to do something or the trophy on the shelf that you are reaching for. Each of us needs to figure out what our "Big Y" is. Otherwise we are just underachieving or floating.
Is it easy? No. But starting the conversation (with someone else or yourself) is a great first step towards getting a better understanding of yourself and your Big Y.
Thank-you for visiting.
Jim.
Cheers to Jakob Owens for the photo.